The Heart of Female Same-Sex Attraction:  A Comprehensive Counseling Resource by Janelle Hallman is written for counselors of adult women who (a) experience and are in conflict with same-sex attractions, (b) claim a religious identity, and (c) have sought help. Hallman’s specialization in female same-sex attraction led her to a model of therapy that is primarily relational in nature.  Relational therapy arises from a theory of psychology, which suggests that female identity is based on and in relationship. Hallman focuses on the development of a woman’s full identity; her overarching goal with women is to help them become whole, with a fully developed sense of self.  She suggests that this can be achieved through authentic engagement with clients.

 

The Heart offers an interactionist view of the development of same-sex attractions.  That is, both genetic and environmental influences play a role in how a woman comes to experience same-sex attractions. It is noteworthy that Hallman’s goal is never to change a woman’s sexual orientation, or even to reduce same-sex attractions.  Rather, her goal is to nurture and affirm the woman in the therapeutic relationship so they internalize these positive aspects into their identity, and eventually nurture and affirm others.  She respects the autonomy of the client by allowing the client to choose their sexual identity and path in life, yet Hallman seeks to expand her clients’ freedom.  This is partially done by remaining attuned through a client’s defensiveness and detachment and by reflecting back to the client a more complete view of her self.

 

Hallman begins by describing a large amount of influences on her clients’ development from various perspectives, e.g. physical, relational, and spiritual. As Hallman describes the common themes from her clients’ lives, it becomes understandable how these women have come to believe, feel, and act as they do. Hallman then illuminates how the woman’s beliefs, feelings, and actions interact with their environment to deepen their struggles.  In the field of psychology today, it is commonly assumed that the nature of difficulties among lesbian women stems wholly from a heterosexist environment.  The Heart boldly, yet gently, offers an alternative and rich understanding of the common dynamics seen in women in conflict with same-sex attractions.

 

Hallman then describes four profiles of women with relevant developmental issues, clinical symptoms, and characterological patterns to be expected.  For example, one profile describes a woman who is high in achievement, experiences anxiety and occasional depression, has an anxious/preoccupied or dismissive attachment style, and histrionic traits.  Her profiles are broad enough to resist labeling, yet specific enough to help therapists develop appropriate therapeutic goals depending on the particular presentation of their client. Hallman also helpfully recommended therapy techniques and approaches for each profile.  So relevant were Hallman’s descriptions of same-sex attracted women that images and stories of previous clients continually came to the forefront of my mind.

 

The Heart offers a four-stage model of therapy.  The first stage is meant to help a woman form a positive and stable sense of self.  Toward this end, Hallman teaches therapists how to establish basic trust with their clients using techniques espoused by attachment theorists.  The second stage is a time of transformation in which the woman learns to connect with and relate out of her true self.  Integration is the goal of the third stage, during which a client comes to accept the parts of her self that have been repressed or denied.  The final stage of therapy includes a woman’s consolidation of and maturation in her more complete self.  While experiencing a real connection with the therapist is of utmost importance through each of these stages, Hallman offers suggestions for therapeutic exercises to help move the woman along in her journey.

 

The tasks of identity formation and transformation are daunting, and much is required of the therapist.  For example, Hallman notes that it is contraindicated in this population to remain neutral and professionally disengaged.  Rather, she encourages therapists to work harder than their clients in order to press through defenses and remain engaged.  Although some therapy frameworks suggest behavioral strategies to address difficulties with same-sex attractions, Hallman’s framework takes into account those clients whose concerns resist behavioral solutions. Having counseled women with same-sex attractions for the past seven years, I found The Heart to be full of hope, realism, and promising suggestions.

Click here to view The Heart of Female Same-Sex Attraction on Amazon

 

Hallman, J. (2008).  The heart of female same-sex attraction:  A comprehensive counseling resource.  Downers Grove, IL: InterVarsity Press.